Sunday, 1 January 2012

Ode to tarts

I should never have brought them home. I'm talking about pecan tarts.

After an initial nibble, I was hooked. Now I can't stop thinking of them. Especially as the wife took one look at them and exclaimed, "Are you nuts?" 

Then, with that piercing glare I've become all too familiar with over 40 years, she infiltrated my brain, as if by osmosis, with the terrible thought that the tarts would have to go.

Go where, you ask? Why into our apartment's trash shute, of course. The graveyard of all snacks that constitute the caloric content of an entire meal but with minimal to zero nutritional value and loaded with no-nos like sodium and sugar. The resting place of my impulsive, edible purchases.

 After the funereal disposal of the 'forbidden fruit,' I awoke in the middle of the night with a craving. A sinful obsession with tarts - pecan tarts - overtook me. Who would notice? Who would care? When recalling the sugar and salt content, "So what!" says I. Then reality dawns. They're gone. The tarts are no more.

Sadly shuffling into the kitchen, I stealthily open the fridge searching for a suitable substitute. After contemplating the choices on offer, I finally opt for a zero fat plain yogurt and toss in a few blueberries.  

Surprisingly, the yogurt and fresh berries taste great. Who knew?

Next I'll be snacking on melba toast, and horror-of-horrors, the dreaded asparagus, brussel sprouts, celery, the whole veggie crew.

I feel like composing an ode to tarts:

Ode to Tarts

©2012 Peter A. Letendre 

Chewy and gooey,
not healthy nor smart,
sugars and pecans
make a lively tart.
Oh, they have to go!

Yummy and gummy
these sly crunchy treats
seduce and entice
with fattening sweets.
Oh, why must they go?

I fell for their spell
when inside the store
they slipped in my bag
like old pals of yore.
Tomorrow they'll go!


  1. Whew! Am I ever glad I resisted the urge to slip you a couple of mince tarts! I couldn't bear the thought of my industrious labours ending up untasted, unsavoured, and down the shute. Mind you, couldn't an argument be made for the iron source (raisins), and mood-elevator (brandy - I think that was listed as one of the ingredients.

    Sweet poem!

  2. Thanks, Anonymous.

    The food industry advertises with great effect to weaken our resistance to unhealthy food choices.

    Then there's human nature. Funny "how everything is acceptable in moderation" when I get a craving for chips. <8-)

  3. Dear Peter,

    I wholeheartedly identify with your ditherings -- too bad there's no alternative to the garbage shute!

    Love Eileen

  4. Thanks, Eileen,

    Guess an alternative is to donate to friends, but then I'd worry about their health too. <8-)

    Would give to the food bank, except tarts, unlike spaghetti, are perishable....