Santa is the engine that drives the Christmas market. If we didn't have this jolly old dude in a red suit to help us get into the Christmas buying spirit, we would quickly invent another pseudo-historical character, wrap him in festive mystery, and add a touch of folklore and mythology for authenticity.
Mythology as authentic seems contradictory, but contradictions fit the entire Santa schtick.
We needn't stray from the successful formula. We would still create and market the new, improved Santa (v. 2.0) as a wise old toy maker living up north with a coterie of adorable elfin buddies and a posse of remarkable flying reindeer.
Note the emphasis on teamwork that carefully weaves into the Santa narrative. No accident, this. Big business, which reveres self-made entrepreneurs and rugged individuals above all else, promotes Santa as a total team player managing a workshop of wee elves. Another contradiction?
Like the original, our re-worked Santa fable would be an irresistible force for the child in all of us. He'd be role model for how to raise offspring (or not!) Ah, the contradictions.....
As in Santa Claus is Coming to Town, he'd continue to terrorize tiny tots with his lists and spying and threats to be good or else. Who can resist such a sweetie?
He's making a list
And checking it twice;
Gonna find out who's naughty and nice.
Santa Claus is coming to town.
He sees you when you're sleeping.
He knows when you're awake.
He knows if you've been bad or good,
So be good for goodness sake!
Santa v. 2.0 could carry intimidation further with
- 'Naughty lists' on Facebook
- Un-friending of parents who buy fewer gifts or buy ones not 'made in America' (or EU, etc.) or buy only inexpensive ones
- Tweets about who's been seen being naughty
- Flickr and Picasa photos taken on cell phones of kids caught in the act
Eartha Kitt got it right with her risque ditty, Santa, Baby. Keep the luxury goods flowing! And the iffy ones whose ads magically tend to appear more often or only at Christmas such as
Like all goods sold at Christmas, Santa must adapt to changing needs. But no matter what the new Santa, whether mensch or schmuck, please keep the contradictions.
Fantasy always outsells reality. Ho! Ho! Ho!
